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Celebrity Cooking Craptacular

Welcome to the latest lousy idea from TV execs! This weeks Celebrity Cooking Showdown has started, and after one episode, it has ended for me. With another washed-up actor as host (this time Growing Pains' Alan Thicke, who I also loved in the Not Quite Human movies, but he hasn't done anything significant in years), a collection of C-list "celebrities", great chefs with little personality, and some garbled format, it was just terrible and almost painful to watch.

Let's see where they went wrong exactly:

  • The biggest celebrity on the show is probably Tom Arnold, who is best know as Roseanne's ex-husband.
  • Any show with Ashley Parker Angel is doomed to fail.
  • While obviously taking inspiration from the success of Iron Chef, they removed all the elements that make Iron Chef great. Instead of giving them a theme ingredient, they were already given recipes. There's not much intrigue when I know what they're making.
  • The tag-teaming with the great chefs is just rediculous, and really takes away from the "celebrity cooking" aspect.
  • Don't hide ingredients from chefs.
  • Don't force female contestants to wear high heels in the kitchen. It's terribly impractical.
  • I'm pretty sure they just pulled the judges off of the street.
  • Ah, constant drama music…without thee I would have my sanity.
  • Don't go telling the television audience that you are having a live 50-minute cookoff that starts at 9:09pm and ends at 9:49pm. I can do math, and I know that means you're not live.

My advice is to avoid this show at all costs. I belive the principal in Billy Madison put it best:

At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.


Published inpet peevesTV

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