Am I the only one weirded out when they come across somebody talking on their cell phone while using the facilities in a public bathroom? I've run into it several times in the last few weeks, and it bothers me. Not only is it poor ettiquette because nobody on the other end wants to hear you grunting and flushing and nobody else in the bathroom wants in on your conversation, but it's also very poor hygiene. If you get germs or viruses on your phone while using it on the can, washing your hands while still on the phone doesn't clean your phone, and the next time you touch it you just get them back.

Next time, just hang up before you go!

You know, it's really a sad statement on the evolution of commercialism when we have to put advertisements pretty much everywhere the eye can see. Once I see advertisements on my toilet paper, I'll know they've gone too far.

My wife and I were at Kennywood, the local amusement park here in Pittsburgh, for my company picnic on Saturday. We had a good time on a gorgeous day, and as always, I enjoyed the people watching. And in doing so, it brought to light some amusement park rules that should be followed.

1. Ladies, don't wear skirts/dresses to an amusement park. Rollercoasters are not the best place for a fashion show. It's just not functional.
2. Don't tell your kids they're tall enough for a ride when they're not. It just leads to disappointment and wasted time.
   
3. Don't use your cell phone while in line for a ride. Amusement parks are loud, and yelling "WHAT?" into your phone does not qualify as a conversation. If you need to use your cell phone, that's what text messaging is for.
4. If you work at an amusement park, don't let your friends cut long lines to get on rides (unless they're also physically disabled). It's just going to piss people off and get you reported to your boss. Your friends being "mentally disabled" doesn't cut it.
5. Dress casually, but try not to wear anything that will make people vomit. So, leave your 1982 mesh muscle shirt at home next time.
6. Don't get in line at the concession stand and complain that there's nothing on the menu that's good for your diet. Did you really think that they'd suddenly started selling salads and tofu bars alongside corn dogs, deep fried Oreos, and french fries smothered in cheese and bacon?
7. If you're going on a water ride, you're going to get wet! I can't believe how many people I see get of log flumes and rapids rides that just look shocked that they actually got wet. Oh, and if you're going to buy a poncho to try not to get wet, then don't even bother with the ride!
8. Ladies...again...enough with the bikini-top-as-a-top look. I don't want to see your gut (as it's almost always the people that shouldn't be wearing an outfit that do).
9. If your looking to ditch your gum while you are in line, there are trash cans. Just sticking it to the wall/fence/post or throwing it in the nearest tree is just gross.
10. Parents, keep your kids in line. An amusement park is not a playground for your kids to run wild in.

As you've probably heard by now, Steeler's quarterback Ben Roethlisberger got in a motorcycle accident yesterday. Not only that, but he was riding without without a helmet (which is probably #3 on my list of stupid things you can do, right behind smoking and unprotected sex).

Now, after suffering a broken jaw, a collapsed sinus, a 9" gash on the back of his head and multiple leg injuries and undergoing 7 hours of surgery, there are some serious questions coming up about his ability to play for the Black & Gold this season. The start of the season is still almost 3 months away, but training camps start next month (with some mini-camps starting already) and the beginning of the season will come quickly. He may not be ready in time, especially if he has to have his jaw wired shut.

Even though he was the "golden boy" after the Steeler's Super Bowl win (one of the ugliest in history), this event already has some people pretty upset. Not all the details are out, but enough for people to be criticizing his decision to go helmet-less. And that's a very unusual thing to see in this Steelers-do-no-wrong town.

I may have more on this story later...

In the meantime, keep your helmets on you crazy kids!

It is pretty sad what passes as science these days. Was this study even set out to observer what they have claimed (that men have lingering distractions when presented with images of attractive women)? Did they completely forget to have a control group? Did they actually state that they measured men's testosterone levels by measuring the length of their fingers? Where is the science?

Then again, maybe it's time for me to start on that research proposal for the Belgian governemnt so I can study whether or not alcohol impares the ability to make sound judgements. Sound like just the kind of thing they'd back!

Welcome to the latest lousy idea from TV execs! This weeks Celebrity Cooking Showdown has started, and after one episode, it has ended for me. With another washed-up actor as host (this time Growing Pains' Alan Thicke, who I also loved in the Not Quite Human movies, but he hasn't done anything significant in years), a collection of C-list "celebrities", great chefs with little personality, and some garbled format, it was just terrible and almost painful to watch.

Let's see where they went wrong exactly:

• The biggest celebrity on the show is probably Tom Arnold, who is best know as Roseanne's ex-husband.
• Any show with Ashley Parker Angel is doomed to fail.
• While obviously taking inspiration from the success of Iron Chef, they removed all the elements that make Iron Chef great. Instead of giving them a theme ingredient, they were already given recipes. There's not much intrigue when I know what they're making.
• The tag-teaming with the great chefs is just rediculous, and really takes away from the "celebrity cooking" aspect.
• Don't hide ingredients from chefs.
• Don't force female contestants to wear high heels in the kitchen. It's terribly impractical.
• I'm pretty sure they just pulled the judges off of the street.
• Ah, constant drama music...without thee I would have my sanity.
• Don't go telling the television audience that you are having a live 50-minute cookoff that starts at 9:09pm and ends at 9:49pm. I can do math, and I know that means you're not live.

My advice is to avoid this show at all costs. I belive the principal in Billy Madison put it best:

At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Otherwise, Millionaires24.com, a site that provides exclusive e-mail addresses for individuals to demonstrate their fiscal standing, wouldn't fly. The service has fewer features than Gmail, but costs a whopping $399/month to be one of the "exclusive" 10,000. Maybe I'm just too practical, but you'd have to be an idiot to think that the service would be remotely worth it.

Sadly, they probably will find their 10,000 idiots before long...

The Ohio State University unveiled new jerseys recently, and apparrently the screen printers ran out of gray. You'll see here the "new" Ohio State football uniforms, that crazily look a lot like the current Wisconsin Badger uniforms. While a seemingly small departure from the classic design, the change has sent shockwaves through the legions of Ohio State fans, and almost all the the opinions have been negative. I mean, they've removed the gray from the Scarlet & Gray. Did Nike and OSU not notice that problem?

Having lived a number of years in Columbus, I can understand the flack. Basically, Nike (yes, I'm pretty sure those fools are the origin of this problem) has decided to destroy one of the all-time iconic uniforms in favor of brand conformity. At best, the change is a disgrace, and would be on-par with an idea to eliminate the pinstripes from the Yankees uniforms. I'm sure Paul Lukas over at Uni Watch can attest to some of the other bad ideas that have come out of the Nike factories, as well as the fans of Virginia Tech, Miami, Florida and Oregon.

Memo to Nike: A team uniform is meant to quickly allow the identification of a group of individuals as a team. If you continue to make everyone look the same, I won't know if I've turned on Ohio State, Wisconsin, NC State, Miami (Ohio) or New Mexico.

"In our case, we're going to sell jerseys regardless," athletics department spokesman Steve Snapp told the Columbus Dispatch. "We don't have to change our jersey to increase sales." Well, they may have to now!

Careful, New York...Nike may be eying your team next.

Government lawyers were recently thwarted in their attempts to confiscate the bejeweled "grillz" of two criminals who were facing drug and weapons charges. While the mouthpieces were most likely purchased with ill-gotten funds, they cannot be retrieved because they are permanently bonded (according to lawyers) and removal would cause damage to the teeth of the incarcerated.

Can I get a Lil' Jon "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" up in here?

Of course, the lesson is that if you obtain a large sum of money illegally, just put it towards some nice mouth bling, and even the government can't take it from you. Isn't it nice to learn something new?

If you consider yourself a 'computer geek', you need to read this exchange between a City Manager in Oklahoma and the developer of a linux distribution.

You can't make this stuff up if you tried.